Here is the abstract of a study done by: Catherine H. Rogers, Department of Psychology, Georgia State University Frank J. Floyd, Department of Psychology, Georgia State University Marsha Mailick Seltzer, Waisman Center, University of Wisconsin—Madison Jan Greenberg, and Waisman Center, University of Wisconsin—Madison Jinkuk Hong Waisman Center, University of Wisconsin—Madison Abstract: The   death   of   a   child   is   a   traumatic   event   that   can   have   long-term   effects   on   the   lives   of   parents.   This   study   examined   bereaved parents   of   deceased   children   (infancy   to   age   34)   and   comparison   parents   with   similar   backgrounds   (n   =   428   per   group)   identified   in the   Wisconsin   Longitudinal   Study.   An   average   of   18.05   years   following   the   death,   when   parents   were   age   53,   bereaved   parents reported   more   depressive   symptoms,   poorer   well-being,   and   more   health   problems   and   were   more   likely   to   have   experienced   a depressive   episode   and   marital   disruption   than   were   comparison   parents.   Recovery   from   grief   was   associated   with   having   a   sense of   life   purpose   and   having   additional   children   but   was   unrelated   to   the   cause   of   death   or   the   amount   of   time   since   the   death.   The results point to the need for detection and intervention to help those parents who are experiencing lasting grief. IT   IS   NOT   MY   RESPONSIBILITY:    Yes,   you   (society)   is   absolutely   correct.   You   (society)   is   not   responsible   for   the   death   of   our child/children.   The   death   of   our   child   has   happened,   we   are   the   ones   experiencing   it,   not   you   the   society.   However,   will   you   allow us   the   time   to   heal?   Or   will   you   take   advantage   of   a   broken   person   and   constructively   dismiss   them   from   their   employment?   Will you   label   us   inefficient,   depressed,   mopping,   brooding,   unable   to   get   over   it,   wallowing,   etc?   Or   will   you   look   the   other   way   and   do nothing while a bereaved parent is abused? Most   employers   are   compassionate   and   make   an   effort   to   understand   and   learn   the   challenges   facing   us.   Unfortunately,   I   also know   that   there   are   employers,   friends   and   business   partners   that   have   no   hesitation   in   marginalizing   and   taking   advantage   of someone felled by a tragedy. A   bereaved   parent   is   very   vulnerable,   we   want   to   return   to   work   (we   have   bills   that   need   to   be   paid   too).   A   vulnerable   person exposed   to   a   precarious   or   toxic   work   environment   is   a   formula   for   problems   to   arise   and   a   potential   for   causing   complicated   grief and related issues that no one will benefit from. You   would   not   insist   that   a   champion   100-meter   sprinter   participate   in   the   Olympics   if   they   had   broken   their   ankle   10   days   before the race would you? SO, HARDEN THE HECK UP!  Surprisingly this is what someone said to me. I could not respond at that time. But am now…. Low   social   support   is   a   major   contributor   to   the   cause   of   Complicated   Grief.      -   (De   Groot   et   al   2007   Cognitive   behaviour   therapy to   prevent   complicated   grief   among   relatives   and   spouses   bereaved   by   suicide:   cluster   randomised   controlled   trial  BMJ 2007;334:994)    You   my   friend   who   asks   me   to   ‘harden   the   heck   up’   may   please   read   the   study   I   have   quoted.   This   will   make you   a   little   more   informed   and   educated   on   what   it   is   that   we   are   trying   to   heal   from.   The   number   of   children   dying   is   very   low compared   to   number   of   children   bruising   their   knees,   and   the   pain   of   a   bereaved   parent   should   not   be   compared   to   the   pain   of   a parent whose child has bruised a knee. Social support is necessary and important for the healing of bereaved parents. Compassion   and   empathy   distinguish   our   Canadian   society,   but   there   are   (and   I   can   name)   many   exceptions   to   this   in   our   society. It   is   important   that   those   rendered   vulnerable   by   the   loss   of   their   child   do   not   fall   prey   to   such   vulturous   corruptions   to   Canada   and to society. If you have any more questions on Jonathan’s Law, please email me: vince@vinceleitao.com On   behalf   of   parents   whose   child   has   died   and   for   those   parents   who   unfortunately   will   suffer   the   death   of   their   child   in   the   future,   I request you to email your MPP and ask them to prioritize Jonathan’s Law.
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Vince Leitao - Author and Experiential Grief Student
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Why is it important to support a bereaved parent
Why is it important to support a bereaved parent